Let us Befriend France once more

In the 80s and 90s there was a brief period of Anglo-French rapprochement. The two nations have long been rivals, and while they hadn't fought against each other for over a hundred years, their relationship remained strained even as they fought the Kaiser and then Hitler together.

After the War, each country found itself set on a different course as it navigated the new world. Despite co-operating in Suez, it was clear that they would adopt a totally different stance to their former empires, with France keeping a lot more and remaining influential in its former African colonies to a much greater degree (the Côte d'Ivoire still had a predominantly French civil service in 1980). France was also more sceptical of the American world order. Britain came, over the course of the cold war, to identify its interests precisely with those of the United States and to rely totally on the American made economic order of free trade backed by the US navy; France maintained a more independent posture, she obtained her own nuclear detterent while Britain abandoned this prospect despite being much further along technologically, she also kept her economy somewhat more isolated from America's, maintaining many supply chains and critical industries that Britain was happy to outsource.

As far as Europe was concerned, the two countries were at loggerheads. It was wise for De Gaulle to veto British membership of the EU, since it was clear that France and Britain had very different visions. While France sought, and continues to seek, an independent bloc which can stand against the great powers to the West and East. For Britain, the only real reason to join the EU was economic, ironically it was hope of more free trade which lured Britain in to a protectionist alliance. This contradiction exposed itself once Britain was in the EU and it became clear that she wasn't committed to deepening European institutions but to widening the EU and diluting its unity in the interests of expanding trade and immigration.

In the midsts of these differences, Britain and France decided to embark on a weird era of co-operation some time in the 80s. Together we built Concorde, the most stylish and technically accomplished passenger plane ever build and the Channel Tunner, a feat of engineering. There have of course been over periods where France and Britain co-operated. While the French may know their way round a grape, it was up to British engineers to design a strong enough bottle to contain the fizz of champagne. The liberalism that has defined the world since 1815 was a product of Franco-British conflict and co-operation — the French supplied the insane fervour and high aspirations while the British supplied the limited liability corporate structures and actual principles.

Indeed, just as God made man and woman to match, He seems to have designed France and England to compliment one another with their flaws and virtues. Consider the dysfunctional relationship which France finds herself in with Germany. The überautistic Germans are prone to fits of idealism but have the unfortunate characteristic of following these ideals to their logical conclusion. While the French have their passing whims, they are much better at avoiding doing anything about them. No doubt the Euro was dreamed up because a French man was waxing poetic on the importance of unity and the role of money in achieving this. And Englishman who overheard him would have nodded along and said something like "quite quite, very good." But a passing German economist instead set himself to making this concept a reality. Confronted with this plan the next morning, the hungover Frenchman could hardly lose face by saying to and thus Europe has been condemned to decades of economic malaise.

What are we to do? Well, one way or another we must rescue France from her unfortunate marriage. The best way to start would be some kind of technical co-operation along the lines of Concorde. We'll let the French do the advertising and concept art and we'll design and build some kind of technical marvel. Next we'll find some kind of war to launch together, maybe we could invade Morroco or somewhere. All of this will allow us to wean France off her relationship with Germany. No doubt the Germans will be upset by this, but it's not like we haven't beaten them before. It doesn't really matter that France is in the EU and Britain is not, the fierce independence of the French which led them to set up the EU to begin with will surely enable them to rebel against its structures and join us in holy matrimony, just as God intended.